Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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