Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
