after a month anything with tits is on the radar
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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