Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
this will be a night to untag.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
