How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize