So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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