We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
