I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
