I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
