He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
