This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
