Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My pussy is not your playground.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Someone came in the potted fern
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
