I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
