I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
