It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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