I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
