You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
