Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
