just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
