Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
