I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
