she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
