i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
