At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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