i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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