dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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