Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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