Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
