As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
