i jhust puked up my retainher.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
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You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
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Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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