Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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