But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
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Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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