i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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