Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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