All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
