"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
