So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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