he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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