brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.