If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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