i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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