It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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