You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
