I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
