Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
