Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
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I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
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Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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