That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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