I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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