He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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