thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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