He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
