On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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