She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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