$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
