Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my shit smells like andre
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
