he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
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He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
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I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize