party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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