Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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