Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize