We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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